He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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