would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
