Plan B is the new Plan A
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize