if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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