I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just high enough for therapy.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
