Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
