giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
