this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
