After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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