I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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