Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
ugly people sure do ruin things
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
