Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
