yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
