the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
