Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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