What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
