You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
