her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My cat gives me a boner
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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