dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
