I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
