it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
