that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
