Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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