ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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