Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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