we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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