So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
