was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
