We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
