I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
