If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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