is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
it's like iHOP with fire
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
