I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
