all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
