I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
