Apparently you make a good broom.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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