dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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