I must be too annoying 4 u.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
