Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
