how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
