My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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