Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
