Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize