Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
