There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
