woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
