you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
