I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
