It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
