She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
