My pussy is not your playground.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
