some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
