I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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