those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
