this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
