Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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