Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize