We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
