Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
