She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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