awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
